The Reality of Teething

A partial list of the things I’ve caught baby teething on: six or seven different chairs (usually the seat, which is mouth-high when she’s standing), twelve or fifteen books, eight or ten magazines, four or five envelopes, my leg, my hand, my shoulder, my chin, store-bought teething toys, her hand, her play kitchen, reusable food containers, her spoon when she’s being fed, my shoes, her shoes, a pen, most of her plastic toys, some of her wooden toys, a grocery cart handle, the running stroller (various parts), the nipple of her bottle, and, of course, her mom (too many parts to list). Indeed, there was a casual competition between baby’s mom and me in which the winner would be the first to have a drop of blood drawn – something that seemed like it was on the verge of happening many times. Most of the objects baby has tried to teethe upon have been removed from her mouth and reach in a matter of a split second. Others I allowed her to work on, because I love her.