Soaking in the Love

I'm less confused why it meant so much to me to get baby out to the West Coast to meet her California relations. She has thrived in the soft waterfall of attention coming her way, whether it be playing with Tupperware in her grandma's lap or being kissed by her 7-year-old girl cousin, held by her uncles and grandfather, or cared for by her aunt -- she has received it all with good humor and evident warmth and no doubt been changed by it. She has slept well, eaten well, and shown other, less easily-discussed evidence of comfort and contentment.

The reality of her being is more palpable on the road, somehow, for her mom and me. Part of it is seeing her own understanding that she's in a new realm in the expressions on her face. Part of it is being someplace new with someone you're really fond of, and thinking, "Can it be that I get to be in this place and also be here with you?" In two days, she'll have her first Christmas. Will I be able to sleep?