Praying for Nap Time

Today Lyme disease symptoms (including some sleep deprivation) had me praying for baby’s next nap. At one point I prayed on my knees at the foot of the stairs while holding baby in my arms. It’s normal, I know, for children to need pretty much all the energy we have to give them – and then just a little bit more. In my own case, ill as I am, I have to admit that I am frightened by the fatigue, frightened by how deep I have to dig to be the dad I want to be.

Still, by the time my wife and I have debriefed each other about our respective days, made and eaten dinner, and sat on the couch with baby in her mother’s arms, little things happen that make it all seem worthwhile. Tonight, as she is wont to do, baby looked out at me through her brown-blue eyes as though she got what I went through today on her behalf, and was overjoyed about it. The look she gave me was like a punch of love to the gut; it still hurts.